I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
