How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
