I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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