Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
