plz talk dirty to me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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