Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize