Kiss
Puke
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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