I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
