nut hugger
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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