Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
