paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize