Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize