my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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