I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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