I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
