My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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