sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
