Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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