you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i will never coherently bang her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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