So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
