Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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