fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
