just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
