Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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