I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
