just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
