I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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