i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
