I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
oh god the rape fog is back!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
