so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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