Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Boobs are out for the taking
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
These tits shall not be calmed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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