Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
