My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
wow bdsm is so cute
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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