Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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