You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize