He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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