my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Randomize
