So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
