She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just had sex bonerless
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
