...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
