I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize