i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
