Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
