addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize