i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
