goodnight i made you a song goodbye
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
