Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
