Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize