yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
