when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
