The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
