they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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