I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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