Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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