dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
