wanna go halves on a baby?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We're too hungover to prance.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
