Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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