Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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