I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
