I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
