I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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