Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize